Narcissism survey - ReclaimingYourself

Are You The Child Of A Narcissist?

Before you begin: Some people have expressed feelings of guilt answering the questions below - as if they are being asked to paint their parent as evil. Many narcissists are nice people who would never want to hurt you. However, despite their good qualities, if your parent was limited, scared, or needy, they probably had some narcissistic traits that negatively impacted you. This is about improving your life, not about judging your parent. If you feel guilty answering "yes" to any of the questions below - if you feel you are being asked to paint your parent as "evil" - then you may find it helpful to switch the word "evil" in your mind to "limited", "scared" or "needy".

Check all those that apply to your father or mother. The word "mother" is used here to keep the wording simple.
1. When you discuss your life issues with your mother, does she divert the discussion to talk about herself?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
2. When you discuss your feelings with your mother, does she try to top the feeling with her own?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
3. Does your mother act jealous of you?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
4. Does your mother lack empathy for your feelings?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
5. Does your mother only support those things you do that reflect on her as a “good mother?"

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
6. Have you consistently felt a lack of emotional closeness with your mother?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
7. Have you consistently questioned whether or not your mother likes you or loves you?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
8. Does your mother only do things for you when others can see?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
9. When something happens in your life (accident, illness, divorce,) does your mother react with how it will affect her rather than how you feel?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
10. Is or was your mother overly conscious of what others think (neighbors, friends, family, co-workers)?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
11. Does your mother deny her own feelings?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
12. Does your mother blame things on you or others rather than own responsibility for her feelings or actions?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
13. Is or was your mother hurt easily and then carried a grudge for a long time without resolving the problem?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
14. Do you feel you were a slave to your mother?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
15. Do you feel you were responsible for your mother’s ailments or sickness (headaches, stress, illness)?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
16. Did you have to take care of your mother’s physical needs as a child?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
17. Do you feel unaccepted by your mother?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
18. Do you feel your mother was critical of you?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
19. Do you feel helpless in the presence of your mother?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
20. Are you shamed often by your mother?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
21. Do you feel your mother knows the real you?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
22. Does your mother act like the world should revolve around her?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
23. Do you find it difficult to be a separate person from your mother?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
24. Does your mother appear phony to you?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
25. Does your mother want to control your choices?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
26. Does your mother swing from egotistical to a depressed mood?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
27. Did you feel you had to take care of your mother’s emotional needs as a child?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
28. Do you feel manipulated in the presence of your mother?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
29. Do you feel valued by mother for what you do rather than who you are?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
30. Is your mother controlling, acting like a victim or martyr?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
31. Does your mother make you act different from how you really feel?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
32. Does your mother compete with you?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
33. Does your mother always have to have things her way?

NoMaybe a bitSometimesVery very much
Have you gained some clarity on how much narcissism you were raised with? Submit your email address below and you will receive a copy of your survey and an opportunity to receive information about parental narcissism and narcissistic injury, available resources, and tools for self-help.
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