Using The I Statement To Reframe

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You are the landlord or property manager, and your tenant, colleague, staff, family member or anyone else makes the following statements. Reframe these to be neutral and negotiable. Use the formula adapted from “I” statements, that is, you feel _______ when _______ because _______.

Example: She always copies off my paper. I had to take the law into my own hands.

Coach: What I hear you saying is that you felt upset when she copied off your paper because it has happened a number of times.

1. There is no way I am going to give her more time to pay this bill. She has never paid when she said she would and she never will.

2. This tenant plays his music turned up all the way at all hours of the night as if he was the only one to live in this building. Is it too much to ask him to have some respect?

3. He gives me weird looks. He bugs me. I don’t trust him. I don’t know why he is always following me.

4. She is such a slob. They (her ethnic group) are all like that. Of course I’m never going to clean up the messes she makes.

5. Well what would you do (spoken to the property manager) if someone was always whispering when you came into the room and then, always looked to see where you were sitting at lunch and found another table and would then avoid looking at you in the office?

Using The "I Statement" To Reframe